To Those Who Think Same-Sex Marriage Won't Affect Them

     This is a blog post (or link, rather) dedicated to those who believe same-sex marriage won't affect them. It is also for those who have told me same-sex marriage won't affect me due to my religious beliefs, and that as such, they believe I should be silent about it.
     Regardless of your situation, I think all Americans should read this:

• A Warning from Canada: Same-Sex Marriage Erodes Fundamental Rights 

  ( www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/04/14899/ )

Gay Marriage

    I've been noticing again in my life people arguing from different fronts on the subject of "accepting" gay marriage, particularly in regards to "active, faithful" members of the Church. The majority of the arguments have been people stating that they can claim full loyalty to God and the Church, and support gay marriage, and in some cases, get married to a same-sex partner themselves. With this, and knowing that it's still a big issue in the world today, I thought I would go through and give my thoughts on it.



     First off, I want to point out that obviously I deal with same-sex attraction (I.O.W. , I'm gay), second I love all of  God's children, and while I do so imperfectly, I'm constantly striving to do better, and last but not least, I am an active member of the LDS Church. I'm doing this post so I can make sure all my readers know my stance clearly so there is no question. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have a testimony of the truth of the Church, the truth of the scriptures, particularly the Book of Mormon, and the truth that there is a God and that Christ is the Savior of the world.
     As an expansion of my testimony, I believe all of Christ's teachings, and all of the teachings of His Church, and the words of the scriptures. I believe in the Church's teachings in regards to homosexual marriage, and I will stick to those morals. I believe in the Church's teachings on sexual relationships, and that they are meant only to be between husband and wife lawfully married, I believe in the law of chastity. I do not support gay marriage, nor will I ever. I know that Christ's true gospel is forever unchanging, and that if the Church is true, it cannot support gay marriage.
     I also know that all people are children of our Heavenly Father, and that He loves everyone equally, and beyond measure or comprehension. I know that God expects me to love His children as close to the degree that He does as I can. I've realized that love is not the way the world portrays it. The world portrays love as having to sacrifice personal morals, accepting, even enabling someone's behavior and/or choices, and not ever expecting someone to change themselves or seek help. I've realized that the most true form of love you can show to someone is to encourage them to get to know their Father in Heaven, even if that means disagreeing outrightly with choices and actions they make.     
     It honestly hurts me to see people I know and love support and push for legalization of gay marriage. It communicates to me that they do not care enough about my relationship with God, my testimony of the Church, and the wellbeing of myself and my spiritual brothers and sisters. To me, it is like they are fighting against one of the most important missions in my life, to educate and be the difference. It's not just gay marriage either, it's immoral music, profanity, pornography, masturbation, and other addictions, anything that has greatly affected my life that I now fight against. I guess the persecution drives me even more, to see the corruption and lies spread by Satan, and to see it accepted so readily by society gives me and even stronger drive to fight and be the difference.
     I know one argument in regards to legalization of gay marriage has been that the Church has changed it's stance on marriage before, so can't they change it again? The thing is that yes, God has instructed the church to alter marriage in the past as He saw it necessary. Yes, polygamy was practiced by the church for a time as God found it necessary. Polygamy was even practiced in the bible, so it's not like it's just the LDS Church. Polygamy is no longer practiced by the Church. Even with the changes in marriage, homosexuality was never ordained of God. The changes God made to marriage were still within the bonds of man and woman, heterosexual relationships.
     Some may argue that polygamy meant many wives, so wouldn't that have some form of homosexuality? No, it did not. The polygamous families who followed God's commandments never broke the laws of chastity. Wives were not involved with each other, and the husband slept with one wife at a time. Point is, God ordained polygamy when it was necessary, but never has God ordained any homosexual marriage or sexual intimacy.
     I don't have all the answers. I don't know all the mysteries of God. There are certain things that I deal with, and others deal with that I do not understand, nor understand God's exact purpose in allowing those struggles in people's lives. What I do know, however, is that God loves everyone. God gives us struggles to strengthen us if we choose to let it, and bring us closer to Him. God's laws are eternal. I know that gay marriage, and sexual intimacy in any relationship, save husband and wife lawfully married, is destructive, dangerous, and seen as sinful in God's eyes. I love my Heavenly Father, and I love my brothers and sisters and want the best for them.
     I have learned through personal experience that living contrary to God's commandments may bring temporary happiness and fulfillment but in the end leave you dry and yearning for something more, having not experienced true joy, whereas living according to God's commandments, keeping Him in your life, though it will be challenging at times, will bring long-term, happiness, joy, and complete fulfillment. The true gospel of Christ is for everyone, young, old, white, black, heterosexual, homosexual, addict, sinner, saint, crippled, able, broken, whole, Christ performed the atonement for everyone, and turned no one away. Yet, while Christ loves and accepts all His children, He states "For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance;" (D&C 1:31). God has defined sin, has defined what draws us from Him, and when we are in the midst of sin, God cannot fully abide with us.
     Even with the truth that God cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, He follows up by saying "32. Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven; 33. And he that repents not, from him shall be taken even the light which he has received; for my spirit shall not always strive with man, saith the Lord of Hosts." (D&C 1:32-33). Christ performed the atonement because God knew we would all sin, we would all male mistakes, and because He cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, He gave us the atonement so we could repent and so that He could make the difference for us when we fall short, it's just our responsibility to do our best, trust in Him, love Him and our fellow beings, and follow all of His commandments.
     God is amazing, and I will follow Him to the end of my days even when the road gets hard. I will suffer persecutions if necessary, endure opposition, but I will stand for what I know regardless of the push of the world. God gives us commandments not to make us miserable, but because He knows what is best for us. It will not always be easy, but following Him will bring the greatest happiness and joy. Love you all!

I choose Love

     I decided today I wanted to do a post on friendship, specifically male-male friendships. I've done posts like this before, but I've seen it hashed over other sites over and over, so I decided "Why not?". And better yet (for me anyways because it makes it easier) I chose 2 characters from my favorite movie series and book trilogy. So what does it mean to have a true friendship? I'm not talking about a "homie", a "bro", the guy you shake hands with and say "whatsup?" to but never spend time with, the guy you hang out with, but never talk about emotions with. I'm talking about real friendship. A friendship where you feel completely accepted and loved. Yes, loved. And here we are, my example; Frodo and Sam from The Lord of the Rings.

     True friendship is emotional. It's not something on the surface. You can't be close to someone when your conversation never moves past "what's up?". If you can't express your true self to someone, you are oppressing a basic human need, one that everyone has, and that's the ability to express yourself. Guys are viewed as completely sexual beings. When you're with your "homie's" you're supposed to talk about girls, sports, "manly" things. You're not supposed to cry, you're not supposed to love each other, you're not ever supposed to say the word love, your supposed to be emotionless, otherwise, you're seen as weak, and often labeled as homosexual. The truth of the matter is homosexuality has nothing to do with the basic human need of emotional expression.

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam. 

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. 

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam? 

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for. 

I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee... here, at the end of all things.

     Love, that being non-sexual love, is not strictly heterosexual. People need close relationships with the same-sex, close, emotional, bonding, true friendships. Look at the beginning of my life, I had no guy friend whatsoever, and the consequences for me emotionally were immense. There is nothing wrong, and nothing homosexual about hugging another guy, crying in the presence of another guy, expressing your heart, even loving one another in non-romantic ways. Even speaking of romance puts up walls for people. Romance has been skewed as well in the modern culture. Friendship can be intimate (of course not crossing the line of intimate sexually) and not be romantic at all. Example:

     My best friends are ones I can be completely open with. My friends who will hug me, tell me they love me, and care about me. The real me, the emotional and spiritual me. It makes me so sad to know that there are millions of people out there affected by social "norms" stating that any emotionally binding relationship between members of the same sex is homosexual. I feel monumentally blessed to have friends who believe otherwise, and who're willing to challenge social norms to truly love me and care for me. Christ loves and cares for all of us, male and female, all the same. God loves all of us, male and female. They love us all truly, they love us for who we are. Social "norms" have never altered God's laws, and they never will. I choose Love. I choose happiness. I choose to have true friendships. I choose my own destiny.

I Love You...

     So much for me saying I wanted to blog about this the day after my last post "Update: This Crazy Week I've Lived". Well, the past few days have presented their own form of crazy. Lots going on, not enough time to get on the computer to type. So this is why I'm finally taking care of this post today. But lucky me, I got to go through some more experiences that better prepared me to do this post.
     As stated in my last post, I've fallen for one of my best friends, and he has expressed that he shares those feelings towards me. It has been hard not to pursue a relationship with him because part of me wants that, to feel close and intimate with him beyond what a friendship can bring. There has also been a large part of me, however, that realizes that is not what I want spiritually, and it's definitely not what I want for him.
     I was thinking the other day about what would happen if I were to pursue a relationship with him. He and I had both expressed a desire to be with each other beyond friendship, but if we were to take that path, what would it bring? Where would we both be later on if we made this decision? Would I actually be happy?
     One of the biggest factors for me regarding my decision was my feelings for him. No, I don't just mean attraction or infatuation, I mean the actual love for him that I have, the part of me that sees him as a son of God, that sees the infinite potential he has, and that desires him to be happy and successful in every way. That part of me, that desire I have to see him reach the highest level of glory and happiness is what has driven my decisions. As good as it may feel to cross the line with him, either by pursuing relationship or by acting out, ultimately my desire to see both he and I reach the Celestial Kingdom is more important to me than mortal gratification.
     I truly believe and support the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I agree with their teachings on marriage and morality. It is because of this belief, because of the testimony and personal revelation I have received that I know the choices I'm making regarding my relationship with him is right. I have never felt the way I feel about him before, but it is because of that love that I am able to see his potential, and I am able to care about him spiritually rather than simply physically.



     I'm not trying to say it has been easy, in fact it has been very hard. It's hard to resist temptations and desires which are so strong and real. We've gotten close to crossing the line, but were able to avoid making mistakes together. It's because of these situations that we've been able to look at our friendship and reevaluate. We've both been working on boundaries in our friendship to keep one another safe. We've reached compromises and been able to take our relationship, as full of temptation and passion as it can be, and make it more healthy and spiritually fulfilling.
    It has been a process, and it's been hard. We are still working on it each day, and as painful as it can be sometimes, I've felt closer to God because of it. I've been able to open my eyes, my spiritual eyes, and see my friend as the son of God that he really is, and be able to care for him far beyond just physical and mortal matters.
    One question, concern, (whatever you'd like to call it), that has been brought up to me, and I'm sure will continue to be brought up, is why I don't just pursue a relationship with him. Why not give in? If you both love each other, is it really wrong? Who's to say the Church is correct in it's teachings? Why would God give you feelings for each other if it's wrong? And all sorts of things like that.
     My answer to all of those is that I know what is right and wrong, I have a testimony that I cannot deny, I believe in what the Church teaches, and I love my friend far more than just as an object or life-long partner. I couldn't enter a relationship with him knowing the consequences that will follow in the coming life for both of us. I just couldn't bring myself to harm him or myself like that.
     But Mitchell, if a relationship with him would bring you happiness (which to a degree, it would), why not just go for it? My answer to this question is that I have felt more love, more happiness, more fulfillment and belonging, more understanding and hope when I'm feeling the spirit, when I'm close to God, when I'm doing what I know God wants me to, when I receive a blessing, when I go to the temple, etc. than I have ever felt "fulfilling" my attractions towards the same-sex by acting out or even just considering a relationship. Even though I admittedly struggle with my spirituality at times, as I'm sure everyone does, I also know what it feels like when I am close to God, when I have those spiritual experiences. And I would not trade those for anything. I've received more fulfillment and happiness from God and living His commandments than anything this world could give me.



 

     I love you all! Storms may arise, in fact storms will arise, challenges will present themselves, doubt and fear may sink in, conflicting emotions and ideas may arise, but so long as I stick to what I know and believe, I will be ok, I will feel love and comfort in the Savior's arms.

The Essence of Being a God

     One thing a lot of people question is why does the church not allow same-sex marriage in the temple? Why can same-sex couples not be sealed? This is my insight on it.
     See, the thing is we have a Heavenly Father and Mother, and together, they are God. I do not believe same-sex marriage could ever work out as a God, and the reason is this; the entire reason God is God is so that He and She could have spirit children, and to give those spirit children a chance to become as God's themselves. God is God so that this can happen. Like parents who seek to have and raise children, so is God, but on a grander scale.
     Gender is an essential part not only of God's plan, but of becoming a God. This is a large reason why we needed a body. We needed gender to be expressed physically, thereby giving us the ability to create life. The reproductive capabilities will naturally transfer over as well, meaning if it were possible that a same-gender couple could become a "God", they'd lose their ability to be a God, because they, due to gender, cannot have children, which therefore takes out the whole reason for being a God, which is to have and raise your own spirit children. I believe this is why God will not allow same-sex marriage eternally, because it goes against the very essence of being a God. It's not to "punish" us (those with SSA) it's to guide us and give us the ability to become Gods. It is because God loves us.
     Some may argue that marriage is not, or should not, be essential for eternal life. I believe the same principles apply. You cannot reproduce with yourself. Man and Woman as a couple become one. They complete each other, giving not only the reproductive capabilities, but all the abilities expressed by a God. Again, God is not just He, rather, God is He and She, Heavenly Mother and Father. D&C 131:2; "And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood (meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage)"
     Now granted, due to circumstances, trials, &/or choices of their own or others, some people may not have the chance to get married in this life. It has been indicated that under these circumstances, God will provide that person with a spouse in the next life. I see no reason why God would take away the chance for someone who lived worthily to live as a God simply because they were not given a chance for marriage in this life.
     Some may also bring up the point that there are some opposite-sex (heterosexual) couples where one or both of them are unable to reproduce for whatever reason that may be, and may argue that if that's the case, why can't a same-sex couple, who cannot reproduce together, not be given the chance to become a God together? The reasoning is this, in my mind; Christ and God can heal all infirmities if we believe on him. In the next life, if we have lived worthily, God will heal all our sicknesses and infirmities. Reproductive ability, I believe, can and will be restored in the next life, therefore giving the heterosexual couple the ability to become a God, but the same-sex couple not.
     Please understand that I am not trying in any way, shape, or form to be rude, hateful, or judging of people who have made the decision to marry same-sex, I am merely trying to explain why the church has decided what it has and how I have been shown how things will work out.