Friday, January 31, 2014

I choose Love

     I decided today I wanted to do a post on friendship, specifically male-male friendships. I've done posts like this before, but I've seen it hashed over other sites over and over, so I decided "Why not?". And better yet (for me anyways because it makes it easier) I chose 2 characters from my favorite movie series and book trilogy. So what does it mean to have a true friendship? I'm not talking about a "homie", a "bro", the guy you shake hands with and say "whatsup?" to but never spend time with, the guy you hang out with, but never talk about emotions with. I'm talking about real friendship. A friendship where you feel completely accepted and loved. Yes, loved. And here we are, my example; Frodo and Sam from The Lord of the Rings.
     True friendship is emotional. It's not something on the surface. You can't be close to someone when your conversation never moves past "what's up?". If you can't express your true self to someone, you are oppressing a basic human need, one that everyone has, and that's the ability to express yourself. Guys are viewed as completely sexual beings. When you're with your "homie's" you're supposed to talk about girls, sports, "manly" things. You're not supposed to cry, you're not supposed to love each other, you're not ever supposed to say the word love, your supposed to be emotionless, otherwise, you're seen as weak, and often labeled as homosexual. The truth of the matter is homosexuality has nothing to do with the basic human need of emotional expression.
Frodo: I can't do this, Sam. 
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. 
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam? 
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for. 

I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee... here, at the end of all things.
     Love, that being non-sexual love, is not strictly heterosexual. People need close relationships with the same-sex, close, emotional, bonding, true friendships. Look at the beginning of my life, I had no guy friend whatsoever, and the consequences for me emotionally were immense. There is nothing wrong, and nothing homosexual about hugging another guy, crying in the presence of another guy, expressing your heart, even loving one another in non-romantic ways. Even speaking of romance puts up walls for people. Romance has been skewed as well in the modern culture. Friendship can be intimate (of course not crossing the line of intimate sexually) and not be romantic at all. Example:
     My best friends are ones I can be completely open with. My friends who will hug me, tell me they love me, and care about me. The real me, the emotional and spiritual me. It makes me so sad to know that there are millions of people out there affected by social "norms" stating that any emotionally binding relationship between members of the same sex is homosexual. I feel monumentally blessed to have friends who believe otherwise, and who're willing to challenge social norms to truly love me and care for me. Christ loves and cares for all of us, male and female, all the same. God loves all of us, male and female. They love us all truly, they love us for who we are. Social "norms" have never altered God's laws, and they never will. I choose Love. I choose happiness. I choose to have true friendships. I choose my own destiny.


  1. Love this post. Friendship does not have to be sexual. I really appreciate ytour words. you rock.

  2. Thank you for this post, Mitchell. You display knowledge, maturity, and wisdom that I did not have at your age. I, too, look to Frodo and Sam as a great example of true friendship, a pure and unadulterated relationship free from the taboos and influences of our culture.

  3. Great post Mitchell. Yes, we need to overcome these social norms that restrict us from demonstrating a noble love toward our brothers. In America, our failing lies when we tend to sexualize intimate relationships.