Through my feelings of SSA I have come to realize what it means to truly love someone for who they are, not what they are. Because feelings of attraction come with feelings of sexual desire, I have had to learn to bridle my lusts because I wish to live a life pleasing to my Heavenly Father. Through this practice of bridling passions and learning self-control, I have learned to change the way I view someone I am attracted to from an object for my own selfish desires to another human being, a Child of God who I can then learn to love and care for without selfish desires finding their way into my mind.
Getting to know the person on a deep and emotional level has been a huge factor to me. Once I get to know someone, I learn to mourn with them, I learn our similarities and differences, I learn what makes them unique, what they like, who they are, etc. And once I reach this point, I begin to love them. I begin to care for them to the point where I would not be able to live with myself if I were to use them for fulfillment of lustful desires.
I've had people tell me before that these feelings are something I need to work through, that eventually I need to get rid of. I've had people ask me if I could choose to not have feelings of SSA whether or not I would choose to get rid of those feelings or keep them. Many times I was unable to answer because I truly did not know much about it, but with the point I am at in life and the understanding I have gained through what I have gone through, I have decided with wholeheartedness that I would not trade my experiences or feelings for anything. Why? because they have brought me so much personal and spiritual growth. It has brought me friendships and relationships I never dreamed possible, and it has taught me to love everyone and to have and show empathy and understanding.
1 Peter 1:7; "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:"(emphasis added)
2 Corinthians 12:9-10; 9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."(emphasis added)Now I understand and believe that Christ has the power to remove my SSA and addictions, this is something I know is possible, but at the same time, I would be completely content to live out the rest of my life continuing to grow and learn from dealing with these "trials". And if Christ sees it fit to eventually remove them from me, whether in this life or the next, then I will trust in his judgment and be thankful for all I have learned through the blessing of having them.
Know that I love you all, and that I know that any trial in our life, if we let it, can help us grow closer to God and grow personally in our testimony and personal and spiritual strength. May we all strive to see life through a different pair of eyes and find the Happiness Amidst the "Pain".